Life is complex. Living from day to day, making choices from moment to moment, giving, taking, meeting, parting, carrying out responsibilities, forming friendships, repairing relationships, performing well in one’s endeavours, finding work, keeping it, obeying one’s parents, meeting family’s needs, conforming to society’s expectations, following rules, obeying regulations, carrying out religious obligations, being a good child, sister, brother, mother, father, grandparent, relative, friend, employer, employee, neighbour, citizen, leader…servant of Allah…Phew! Gasping for breath yet? I know I am!
Each one of us is a story in the Book of the Creator, Allah, the Almighty, the Exalted, all praise is due to Him. Our stories will be made up of choices, conflicts, changes and continuous challenges. There may be on its pages invaluable rewards and priceless moments. When or where our story begins or finishes is out of our hands. What lies within our grasp is the chance to live life to the most that we can, to do the best with what we have, within the spectrum of our existence up to our final moment on earth.
Today, some of the things considered harbingers of progress and growth and the changing nature and structures of societies amongst many other things bring with them numerous health issues experienced in everyday living. For Muslims in particular these issues are compounded by problems faced from community to community and globally by the Ummah like tyranny, disunity, harassment, vilification, oppression and persecution.
Muslims thus suffer mental break downs from these problems, become unwell and need support, help and or counsel, maybe even medication. This is subject to range, scale, intensity, frequency and length of period of the health condition. It may vary from person to person – gender, personality types and developmental stage and differ according to each person’s circumstances – life situation, and environmental factors. Sometimes we will feel unwell in our physical, mental, or spiritual part of our body – our soul. However a person according to Islamic psychology is considered an integrated whole and as such the mind/heart, body and soul are connected. Whatever ails one part will affect the others.
For example, a person may be under financial pressures, have constant headaches, become irritable, eats or sleeps less and develops high-blood pressure. Another person may be having marital problems. They may begin to eat excessively or unhealthily to make themselves feel better and become overweight. They may feel ashamed of their body, lose self-confidence and avoid social events. Another person might suffer series of losses; loved one, job, home, and struggle to keep firm on their faith.
A student might be under pressure from themselves, family or the community to excel may eat or sleep less and become moody. They might make bad choices to achieve and or maintain their success. They might also engage in self-harming behaviour or have suicidal thoughts. Sometimes however we just get stuck and unable to stop certain patterns of thinking and behaviour which may be getting in the way of healthy functioning or progress in our lives. These could be caused by events or happenings in our childhood.
Some of the difficulties mentioned above may manifest in antisocial behaviours and mental illness like anxiety disorders, phobias, obsessions and compulsions, eating disorders, clinical depression, post-traumatic stress disorders, mood disorders, Autism, Aspergers, personality disorders, substance abuse and addictions.
Personal resources, strong support system, healthy lifestyle, guidance from Allah and fortification from practices of Ahadeeth and Du’a and perhaps a session or two with a counsellor might help. They could significantly impact on responses, reflection and insight and enable re-alignment and recovery of equilibrium for some people. For others more specialized support may be needed in addition from health professionals with a range of training, skills and experiences. These may include GPs, counsellors, psychotherapists, psychologists, psychiatrists and social workers.
Allah has commanded us to seek help for whatever ails us and good counsel from others for Hidayah – guidance. The Prophet (saw) also said; “Allah has sent down the disease and the cure and has made for every disease the cure. So treat sickness but do not use anything Haram” (Abu Dawud).
So where shall we begin? Here are my 5As for wellness that will in sha Allah help you and me find some of the healing, peace and happiness we seek and achieve good quality of life here in this world and success in the next, Amin.
Acknowledge
The first thing to do when we feel or notice something not quite right in our minds or happening in our bodies or find that we are not coping well with current or some past issue is to recognise and acknowledge it. You may be having negative thoughts, crying over the smallest things, feeling irritable and angry all the time. You may be sleeping less, not concentrating, lacking motivation for anything, having heart palpitations, headaches, cravings/overly indulging in food/sugar/shopping and engaging in reckless behaviours. It’s time to acknowledge it. You cannot change or get help for what you keep denying, refuse to or don’t see. It’s time to face it and face up to it.
Act
Good intentions are not enough. One of the hardest things is to do is act and stay committed to one’s goals. The longer it takes to you to move the harder it will become. Failure to act can worsen the situation and have potentially catastrophic or fatal outcomes. Sheer desperation can push one to action but it takes courage to admit problems, own up to flaws, weaknesses or wrong choices and open up to the process of change and all that it entails. So be courageous, you are already on your way for acknowledging the problem. Go slow if you must, a step at a time is all you need to get you to a good place in sha Allah.
Ask
Ask Allah for help. Ultimately we must go to the source, to Allah – Ash-Shaafi – The Healer, for the Shifa – cure, and believe in the promise of His healing powers; “…when I am ill, it is He Who heals” (Ash-Shu’ara’, 26:80). Ask as the Prophet taught us; “O Allah, Lord of mankind, the One Who relieves hardship grant healing for there is no healer but You, a healing that leaves no trace of sickness” (Bukhari & Muslim). There are many supplications recommended in the Qur’an and Sunnah, use them. Start by asking for forgiveness from Allah, follow with Dua’s for protection against the whisperings of Shaytaan and the evil eye, for guidance and direction – like prayer of Istikhara and Dua’s for ease from difficulties and healing from pain. Increase acts of worship and give Sadaqah/charity in cash and kind.
Ask for help from someone you trust or feel close to. Talk to them and this may allow release and provide immediate relief.
Ask for help from a professional. See a GP especially if you’re experiencing physical symptoms like some of those described earlier. The GP might refer you for certain tests or counselling. However you can see a therapist – counsellor, psychotherapist or psychologist yourself. Therapy can be very beneficial, indeed critical to change, healing and growth. Therapists engage with empathy, listen, will help you gain clarity, find direction, heal, stop negative thinking and behaviour and can help you achieve your goals and dreams. Therapists can also refer you for medical tests or get other relevant health practitioners involved in if need be.
Adjust
Adjust your lifestyle; Rethink, Reduce, Reclaim. Rethink some dietary choices. Make little changes; consuming more water, fruits and vegetables. Walk more, take the stairs, sleep a little earlier and do something nice for yourself – give yourself rewards once in a while. Cultivate simple relaxation practices like having moments of quietness/stillness in your day and deep breathing exercises. Keep a journal/diary; it can provide an outlet for feelings and helps self-reflection. Reduce salt and sugar intake and technology – social media, television, games, mobile phones and computer. Reclaim your time; use more for family and friends, give of yourself – get involved in a community project/charity initiatives, exercise your mind by reading books and doing puzzles, engage in remembrance of Allah, recite and reflect on the Qur’an more.
Attitude
You are not alone, know that someone somewhere is or has gone through something in their life. The pain you’re experiencing or those negative choices or behaviours you’re engaging in can and will stop in sha Allah. Work at getting better and no matter how bad it feels now or appears to be, don’t give up or give in. Most times it will get worse before it gets better, be patient, the rewards will be worth it in the end. Your attitude is key, be your own champion, believe that you will achieve your goals and that you will find a way, your way by Allah’s will.
On a final note, this piece is a guide and reassurance that in sha Allah there is help, lots of information and resources and many pathways to peace of mind. May Allah in His infinite mercy ease our pain and difficulties, grant us relief from what aches our hearts, bodies and souls and keep us patient and steadfast with faith, patience, prayers, hope and certainty of Allah’s Mercy, Amin.
This article is an Oldie Goodie from the archives, it was written for publication for a magazine in 2010.
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I am a trained therapist with more than two decades of combined years of experience in non-formal and formal counselling and coaching in Australia and overseas.